


More Questions Than Answers

by markipwiwer



Series: Tumblr Requests [6]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Anti being a bratty glitch, Basic medical talk, M/M, Multi, The boys supporting each other, doing mundane human things, morphine mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 21:39:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14702877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markipwiwer/pseuds/markipwiwer
Summary: “"This is why we don't leave you two alone." Is a v Dantistache prompt, just saying”- undedicated humanoidDark agrees to a medical check up.





	More Questions Than Answers

Dr Iplier and Dr Schneeplestein had been in cahoots for quite some time about Dark and his... entire existence. Both doctors did regular check ups on their respective egos, and naturally each ego had their oddities, but Dark hadn’t allowed the so-called professionals to poke and prod at him. He simply didn’t see the need, and he was sure that they would simply be left with more questions than answers.

But one day, after being literally bed ridden despite his best efforts to simply sit through his chronic pain, Wilford insisted that he at least talk to their own doctor about the possibility of morphine.

Dark was unsure that his body would even be capable of processing the stuff, but he was at least curious. Worst case scenario, he made Iplier reconsider his life’s work. Best case scenario, he dulled his pain enough to function just fine without anyone’s help. That was an okay trade-off, in his opinion.

So when Dr Iplier guaranteed him morphine regardless of the results for, well, a full exam with Schneeplesteins assistance, Dark figures he just might as well. 

When Wilford heard about the exam plan, he wanted to know what exactly why and especially how the doctors would be prodding his body. And Anti was curious because, well, he always got curious when another Septic was involved. Chances are he probably missed the bastards.

So they were all going. It was part of the deal, no one could say a damn thing about it.

And it was a lot of convoluted planning for what it ended up being.

Wilford sat squished up on the examination table with Dark, insisting to know exactly what they were doing every step of the way. Anti, on the other hand, trailed behind poor Henrik, asking him all sort of questions about the new zombie ego.

“He iz dead, Anti. I have checked ova’ and ova’ again, zer is no o’zer way to put it.” Dark almost had to chuckle, he could have described Dark in quite the same way. Bodies kept alive by unknown, unexplained forces.

They attempted to observe. They tried to do his his blood pressure, his temperature, the usual bits and pieces, but the machine couldn’t get a reading on anything.

Dr Schneeplestein scoffed and muttered something about having to do everything the old way, and put the buds of his stethoscope in his ears.  
He felt around with the disc a lot. An awful lot more than he should have needed to.

He motioned for Iplier to come over and do the same, to which Iplier looked up at Dark almost for permission first.

The heartbeat that was there was far too slow and weak to be keeping anyone alive, and Iplier was just as shocked as Schneep.

Dark cocked an eyebrow at the both of them.

“You have... almost no heartbeat.”

Wilford smiled with too many teeth, as always.

“Bully, Doc! We could have told you that!”

Anti chimed in, still hovering over Schneeplesteins shoulder.  
“Yeah, why’d ya think he’s so cold all the time?”

Iplier and Schneep shared a look, eyebrows furrowed, before getting back to other examinations.

Iplier looked him over, doing all the physical examinations Dark would allow (the Doctor had been informed not to mention the bullet wound in his back, lest he have his tongue cut out) and Schneeplestein stood behind, scribbling as many notes as he could, staying mostly silent. He gave Anti many stern looks for looking over his shoulder, but luckily he was very aware that his hand writing looked like chicken scratch to most. Eventually, he started typing up a rather convoluted report on the computer, while Iplier courageously asked some questions. 

More often than not, Wilford would speak up before Dark got the chance, answering many questions for him. It was probably better that way, Wilford knew most of the... normal things, and Dark would have dodged most probing questions anyway.

Of course, both doctors ended up with more questions than answers, and they excused themselves to deliberate in the next room. Which left Dark, Wilford and Anti by themselves.

Anti took no time leaping into the computer Henrik had been typing away at, eating up every egos medical history like it was candy.  
Wilford stood and began stashing as many medical supplies as he could - not like he particularly needed to, that was the kind of thing Wilford could conjure if he wanted to badly enough. But he supposed it didn’t hurt to keep some handy in whatever pocket dimension he happened to have.

Dark was eyeing the various liquids and drips they had lying around. It wouldn’t have been out of character for Dr Schneeplestein to have some sort of poison handy, not to mention finding that morphine Iplier had promised.

The doctors walked back in quite suddenly, catching the trio slightly off guard. Not like any of them would apologise for their dodgy actions. Anti still had one foot in the computer screen and Wilford had two arms full of bandages. Dark was even pocketing a couple of things just for the sake of it.

Schneeplestein merely rolled his eyes and Iplier was batting Wilfords hands, trying to salvage what he could before it all disappeared.

“This is why we can’t leave you three alone.” As usual, Iplier was the only one the confidence to speak in any sort of negative way about the group.”

Anti giggled manically when Schneep called him a bastard under his breath. And for once, Dark cracked a smile.

“I’ve got enough bandages to mummify someone!”  
Wilford sounded far too amused as the last of Ipliers medical supplies disappeared.

Naturally, no real conclusion was made about Darks make up, but Anti enjoyed the fact that Schneeplestein privately theorised he was somehow similar to Robbie. A zombie. It was somewhere close to the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> Have you got an idea or a request for a fic? Come shoot me a message at markipwiwer.tumblr.com!
> 
> If you like what I do, please consider supporting me at www.ko-fi.com/markipwiwer!


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